Saturday, December 12, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
With Thanksgiving...
This Thanksgiving was very special in that we have a new baby to be thankful for. Children are a gift from God. Nothing else on earth teaches you so much about unconditional love, strength, and tolerance. People ask me how things are going with a newborn and I always reply, "It's amazing what you can do when you have to do it." I am thankful for the time in my life to learn to bend without breaking, to love without thinking, to give without expecting. And never until I had Katie Rose did I think I would actually want to learn those things. I'm thankful for the bond I have with Robbie now and forever. I'm thankful for the gift of grandchildren to our parents and for how our family is growing in size and in love. I am thankful for her health and the health of her parents. I'm thankful for the hormonal tears that were shed at the mere thought of her being 27 days old...27 days old...It's the only day in her life that she'll be 27 days old...how glorious!! Silly, I know, but very real to me in the moment.
I am thankful for more than I ever thought I would be and I am thankful we celebrated with so many family members. We had my mom and dad, Robbie's mom and dad, Robbie's grandmother, Grandma Betty, and even Ross who flew in on the 21st. He was hoping to be here for the birth, but oh well. I enjoyed spending time with him. We don't spend much time together and I think there's alot we can learn about one another. He's a proud uncle. Ross was hoping to get some videos of Katie Rose but the camera wasn't working. He has some fun audio clips from KR's birthday from Mom and Sonya and Murphy Elliott. Sonya's is not suitable for the general public to hear.
We all enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving. At one point I told Mom I was glad we had a baby in the family. Dad, Arnold, and Robbie had all fallen asleep downstairs watching football. Vickie and Gma Betty were in the living room quietly knitting, and Mom and I were talking quietly in the kitchen. I told her this crowd was getting a little old (us included) and we needed some new life, energy, and noise among us. Katie Rose was also lounging on her Boppy on the coffee table, but I bet next year when she's 1 it will be a different story. I can't wait to chase her around, or rather ask Robbie to chase her around while I sip on spiked hot chocolate.
Robbie and I were in charge of the turkey. The HUGE turkey. We ordered an 18 lb bird from the Hutterites, but Ross got so excited about the turkey that he suggested we order an even bigger bird. 23 lbs we ended up with and I think eventually it all got eaten, but it was the running joke of the weekend. Dad called wondering if the black smoke cloud he could see over Belgrade was our turkey baking. He ate his words when he proclaimed it to be the most tender he had ever eaten. Muah!
The whole weekend was wonderful. The weather was good and it got us all in good spirits for the holiday season.
I also want to include a note to John Howell. His memorial was on Thanksgiving Day last year. We miss you John.
Are We Living Happily Ever After Yet?
When does happily ever after start? Don't get me wrong. I love my baby more than anything in the world and I have fallen in love with my husband allover again, but whew! this is hard. Everyone has a baby, or a marriage, or a friendship with the grandiose idea that everything is going to be perfect and beautiful without any hitches that can't be surmounted with love and respect. Have you ever tried asking for a 1 month old's respect in the middle of the night? I've tried. I try every night, in fact, and it DOES NOT WORK.
I'm afraid our little girl has colic or reflux or something that strikes each and every night and sometimes during the day. It mostly happens after she eats which is why I wonder if it's reflux. She is also much happier sitting up or over my shoulder than she is lying down which is another indication of reflux. But what about this perfect breast milk I'm making?? I thought it was the perfect infant food. I thought it was easily digestible and a natural antacid. These thoughts validated what I thought would be the perfect mother-baby bond, but no. I might be mistaken about that. I would never shake my baby, but I can understand how someone with little impulse control could. 2 am with a crying baby is one of the most emotionally exhausting things I have experienced. 
But here is the silver lining: The miracle of motherhood is that you still love them even though they cry LOUDLY right into your ear and then headbutt you right in the jaw. It's injury to insult, salt on the wound. The other miracle is that as soon as you have a little bit of rest, you wake up feeling relatively refreshed and all the frustration from the night before is gone. I wake up to her cry, scoop her into my arms and squeeze her for the precious bundle she is while kissing her dumpling cheeks. Let's hope this unconditional love continues into adolescence.
Robbie is a big help with her. I try not to bother him in the middle of the night during his work week. He wears earplugs at night now. But when he doesn't have to work, I do ask for his help and he kindly lets me yell at him from time to time. The other morning at 4 am I told him to take her out of the room and only bring her back once she's asleep. He did and she slept for 3 hours. Ahhhhhh. Knowing Katie Rose is finally asleep releases some of the best feel-good chemicals. It's better than any martini.
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