When does happily ever after start? Don't get me wrong. I love my baby more than anything in the world and I have fallen in love with my husband allover again, but whew! this is hard. Everyone has a baby, or a marriage, or a friendship with the grandiose idea that everything is going to be perfect and beautiful without any hitches that can't be surmounted with love and respect. Have you ever tried asking for a 1 month old's respect in the middle of the night? I've tried. I try every night, in fact, and it DOES NOT WORK.
I'm afraid our little girl has colic or reflux or something that strikes each and every night and sometimes during the day. It mostly happens after she eats which is why I wonder if it's reflux. She is also much happier sitting up or over my shoulder than she is lying down which is another indication of reflux. But what about this perfect breast milk I'm making?? I thought it was the perfect infant food. I thought it was easily digestible and a natural antacid. These thoughts validated what I thought would be the perfect mother-baby bond, but no. I might be mistaken about that. I would never shake my baby, but I can understand how someone with little impulse control could. 2 am with a crying baby is one of the most emotionally exhausting things I have experienced. 
But here is the silver lining: The miracle of motherhood is that you still love them even though they cry LOUDLY right into your ear and then headbutt you right in the jaw. It's injury to insult, salt on the wound. The other miracle is that as soon as you have a little bit of rest, you wake up feeling relatively refreshed and all the frustration from the night before is gone. I wake up to her cry, scoop her into my arms and squeeze her for the precious bundle she is while kissing her dumpling cheeks. Let's hope this unconditional love continues into adolescence.
Robbie is a big help with her. I try not to bother him in the middle of the night during his work week. He wears earplugs at night now. But when he doesn't have to work, I do ask for his help and he kindly lets me yell at him from time to time. The other morning at 4 am I told him to take her out of the room and only bring her back once she's asleep. He did and she slept for 3 hours. Ahhhhhh. Knowing Katie Rose is finally asleep releases some of the best feel-good chemicals. It's better than any martini.
all that unconditional love has to be helped along by the fact that she is SO DARN CUTE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteShe is so darn cute, that is for sure! I'm with you on the sleep thing...there is nothing greater than a sleeping baby at your stage in the game! Turner also has reflux. If she continues to fuss or spit up or do those reflux grunting behaviors (turner did all three) it probably is reflux and medication can help! Turner still spits up ALL THE TIME, but he no longer screams out and grunts like a billy goat all day/night long! He seems more comfy too! Good luck! She's beautiful!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, oh what fun. The more I get to know her, the more she reminds me of her grandfather. The other day Lee and I were somewhere and KR began to scream. As Lee was temporarily unavailable, I scooped her up and planted her on a bouncing chair nearby. I threw this thing in fast gear, bouncing her as fast as I could. She hushed right up. I looked up at the amazed women around me and calmly told them, shake her up like you would a good martini and she settles right down -- just like her grandfather. She sort of has his hairline too. And definitely his toes. Oh, and did I mention she's big time into immediate gratification? But, like I said... oh, what fun. GM
ReplyDeleteI have an appointment with the pediatrician soon and we'll talk about reflux. I look forward to her growing out of this!!
ReplyDeleteLee